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Messy musings on Vax and bisexuality
May. 17th, 2022 04:10 pm Voted today, which was rather stressful, but it went fine. Afterwards, as a reward, Mom and I went to Starbucks before running some errands. I got a chocolate cookie (I always forget I can get those unless I'm at a Starbucks in a bookstore where they display them in view) and I think a dragon fruit refresher, which was pretty great.
I also had therapy today (which is done remotely, and I am very thankful for that since our Covid status is apparently back in the red). With two stressful/time-consuming adulting tasks in one day, I decided I get to take the rest of the day off.
Mostly I've been continuing my rewatch of Legend of Vox Machina. I'm deliberately focusing on other characters this time around, since my initial viewing was consumed by my PERCY FEELINGS (of which I have many). Honestly, is anyone surprised that I am Percy trash first and human second? No, I didn't think so. In these matters, I am predictable af. But anyway, I'm purposefully sidelining the Percy feels (somewhat unsuccessfully because MY TERRIBLE BOY!!!!!!) in order to concentrate on Vax and Pike in particular since they're my next faves (and I know spoilers, so I am aware that Vax'ildan will eventually sneak up like a good Rogue and knife me in the feelings).
[Very mild spoilers for TLoVM/C1 I guess?]
I have like, some feelings??? About the whole Vax/Gilmore and Vax/Keyleth situation? Again, I know spoilers, so I know how this shakes out, and that's probably a good thing as far as tamping down on my expectations goes. And just. Bisexual rep is a tricky business, I say as a bisexual. It's hard to not seem as though one is saying that Vax's relationships with men are doomed to fail because they are ultimately less meaningful than his relationships with women because heterosexual/straight-passing relationships are validated by society. I 100% believe with my whole heart that that is in no way an intention of the narrative. But narratives don't exist in vacuums, and so things get messy.
I also think the compression necessary to convert a DnD campaign into a watchable serialized narrative makes this worse; we're literally not given any time to enjoy the fun flirtation between Vax and Gilmore before extremely lampshaded foreshadowing of Vax and Keyleth supersedes it. And I like Keyleth!! I hasten to add. But I still find myself feeling some kind of way because of the way this story unfortunately dovetails with existent, real world pressures on bisexuals to "pick a side."
I wish there were a better way out of this maze, because it's not that I think TLoVM has done anything "wrong" here. It's that bisexual rep is messy and complex, and yes, you can fix many of these issues with poly rep, but also I don't want that to be the solution in every single story. So, I guess all this is to say that my emotional response to this narrative is also flawed and complicated.
Anyway, this was very off the cuff, and I need to go make dinner, so... I LOVE PERCY, OKAY BYE.
I also had therapy today (which is done remotely, and I am very thankful for that since our Covid status is apparently back in the red). With two stressful/time-consuming adulting tasks in one day, I decided I get to take the rest of the day off.
Mostly I've been continuing my rewatch of Legend of Vox Machina. I'm deliberately focusing on other characters this time around, since my initial viewing was consumed by my PERCY FEELINGS (of which I have many). Honestly, is anyone surprised that I am Percy trash first and human second? No, I didn't think so. In these matters, I am predictable af. But anyway, I'm purposefully sidelining the Percy feels (somewhat unsuccessfully because MY TERRIBLE BOY!!!!!!) in order to concentrate on Vax and Pike in particular since they're my next faves (and I know spoilers, so I am aware that Vax'ildan will eventually sneak up like a good Rogue and knife me in the feelings).
[Very mild spoilers for TLoVM/C1 I guess?]
I have like, some feelings??? About the whole Vax/Gilmore and Vax/Keyleth situation? Again, I know spoilers, so I know how this shakes out, and that's probably a good thing as far as tamping down on my expectations goes. And just. Bisexual rep is a tricky business, I say as a bisexual. It's hard to not seem as though one is saying that Vax's relationships with men are doomed to fail because they are ultimately less meaningful than his relationships with women because heterosexual/straight-passing relationships are validated by society. I 100% believe with my whole heart that that is in no way an intention of the narrative. But narratives don't exist in vacuums, and so things get messy.
I also think the compression necessary to convert a DnD campaign into a watchable serialized narrative makes this worse; we're literally not given any time to enjoy the fun flirtation between Vax and Gilmore before extremely lampshaded foreshadowing of Vax and Keyleth supersedes it. And I like Keyleth!! I hasten to add. But I still find myself feeling some kind of way because of the way this story unfortunately dovetails with existent, real world pressures on bisexuals to "pick a side."
I wish there were a better way out of this maze, because it's not that I think TLoVM has done anything "wrong" here. It's that bisexual rep is messy and complex, and yes, you can fix many of these issues with poly rep, but also I don't want that to be the solution in every single story. So, I guess all this is to say that my emotional response to this narrative is also flawed and complicated.
Anyway, this was very off the cuff, and I need to go make dinner, so... I LOVE PERCY, OKAY BYE.
